So your assignment today is getting a handle on what's so. So take out your journal (and if you don't have one yet, create one; any notebook will do), put down today's date and just jot down the following:
Don't judge! Don't start looking at whether you think it's enough or whether you thought you'd be somewhere else. All you want to do with this is acknowledge what's so.
Now you want to acknowledge yourself for everything it took to get here, and for the work you did to have what you have and be who and where you are.
Originally posted to help you create 2018, this formula, and the sequence that follows, can be tried on any time. Sign on for a handful of exercise to take a look at where you are and determine where you want to go. Get those two figured out and you—with our help, if you want—can create a plan to get there.
We expect that some of you don't need any more than this reminder to set your year up. If you are one of those, we acknowledge you and invite you to get on with it.
For some of us though, we know a little nudge now will set us on a course to a much different place by the end of the year.
If you are one of these, in a few moments we'll invite you to get on our list so we can provide that nudge.
For some it's much worse. You're surprised you are even here at all. And maybe you're a bit like I was: Maybe you've made New Year's Resolutions. You've stopped doing that. You are so sure you'll fail, you don't want to make any promises at all. It's just too painful.
And if you are one of these, I'm glad you are here at all. It suggests you've still got at least a glimmer of hope. It suggests that at some level you know you can beat your demons. You, make that we, know that there's a bigger life available for us, and we're ready to support each other in creating it.
So for those who want a little nudge, and those who haven't given up, for those willing to take on that something else is possible, we invite you to sign on to our list. We'll be sending you a series of prompts for thought and action as we start 2018.
And here's our first: What did you do that you are proud of in 2017? Be generous with yourself. It could be that you made your first million, or your first dollar, that you married, or just went on a date, or just that you are still here to start 2018. There is no accomplishment too small if it means something to you. Please feel free to share in the comments below.
And in the meantime, sign on to:
Sometimes I run across one of my Quora answers again at a later date. I saw this one, and it hit me in the gut:
Q: How Could Someone Have it All and Still be Unhappy?
A: Because no matter how good it is, you can always focus on something that isn't perfect or doesn't match your expectations, and that is called ultimate failure in life. You want to know what I believe success is. Success is creating consistent pleasure in your life, and causing yourself to grow. Failure is being able to find pain, no matter how good it is.
The reason it hit me is that I do have it all. There's enough money in the bank that I don't have to worry about food and shelter for quite some time. I have four amazing, adorable children, and I include in that my 18 year old, who has been older than I am for years. I'm really smart. People love me. I make a huge difference in people's lives.
Dr. Ben Adkins of Fearless Social runs a call every December, “the Better Life Sequence,” to help people look forward and powerfully create their coming year. As he was sending around the replay for the 2016 call, he accidentally linked the 2015 call as well. I think he must have done this just for me.
The point of that call: You Must Have a “Why.” And money just doesn't cut it, especially for people trying to go it on their own. You have to address that Why in five areas: Family, Faith, Health, Work andHobbies. For each of these you should set three goals. For each goal, you must state why.
In Ben's words:
Something in your life is keeping you from being who you want to be.
That you don’t have what you want is not because you lack information.
It’s probably not a lack of action either.
What’s missing is organization, focus & planning.
We are not built to be good at these things.
Because we don’t know what makes us happy. We spin our wheels at all sorts of stuff not connected to what makes us happy. When we understand what makes us happy, we can actually set up our lives to create and achieve those things. We get the opportunity to make sure that we are honoring the things that make us happy, and scheduling those. When we do that, we actually wake up and know what needs to get done each day, and we are excited to do it because we know where it's going.
So here are mine:
Visit with three of my cousins: Because I miss them and I want to be more connected to my family.
Outing with Sharleen once a week: Because a relationship is either growing or dying, and we have a lot more fun when we are growing ours.
Outing with family at least once a month: Because they are growing up too fast and if we don’t make the moments now, we will miss them.
Landmark: Connect with humanity’s good side, time with Sharleen
Altucher Podcasts: Remind me of bigness of people and what we can create
Political Activism: Remind me there is another conversation, and that all change starts with just one person.
200 lbs. (91 kg.): Feel Good about myself; believe I can; be faster
Sugar, smoke and Coffee free: Live longer, be thinner, no headaches, indicator that I’m excited about life.
Politics: Being connected makes me feel better
10k a month: Know that I can; Generate Belief in Myself
Help five people build their business: Validate that I can; make a difference
Buy three new pieces of Real Estate: Because I love to build stuff
Politics: Because I want to rock the world and turn this into my profession at some point.
Finish Alfred’s Book 2, Guitar Book 1, Accordion Book 2, Mandolin 1: Bring Music into the World, get good at something, demonstrate that a little work consistently, over a long time will make something much better.
Build our House: I like to create and build.
The idea behind all this is that if you know your Why, and you focus on that, relentlessly, you will generate abundance. So what about all the crap you have to do that you don't want to. Well not doing that is another great reason Why. This suggests two more list that you should make. And they answer the question “What is the stuff I hate to do?” and “To what do I need to say no?”
The idea here is that when you know how to manage your own affairs, and you have your life organized, you can also organize so that someone else take over the items you don't want to waste your time on. For me, the things I least like to do are laundry, cleaning dishes, shopping, dealing with my accountant, and throwing stuff out. But worse are the things I don't mind - or even like - doing, but that add no value, like getting lost in technical matters only to find I've spent the whole day on low value items. To these, I must say no, or at least settle on the simplest solution, like using page-builders or systems rather than spending a lot of time learning to code web pages, which I'll never do at a professional level anyway.
It's a powerful exercise, and one I highly recommend you complete as soon as possible. For some of you, this will be easy, and the next steps will be obvious. For others, like me, this will require a shift in the way things are done. For me, it'll take something to break this down into winnable weekly and daily chunks. Harder will be saying no to the things that distract (like e-mail, facebook, and the next thing I just have to know about or try.)
And if you don't have a regular job or schedule with a built in accountablity system, and you want to win, you'll need an alternate structure. This could be a coach, or a regular check-in with someone else. You just need to look at your promises this week, and if they are not in alignment with what you said you want, adjust your course.
This is the Domain I had the most trouble with. Here's Dr. Ben's take:
This is not about any particular deity.
It's about your connection with the universe. It's about what gets you locked in and centered and believes there is something more to this world than just what's going on inside your own head.
What's going on inside of you that makes you believe that there's more to this world than what is going on just inside of your own head.
What is it about the world that is bigger than me?
or if you are familiar with Landmark, the question is what possibility for being would call you powerfully into action?
So I wish you a Happy 2016. If you'd like any help creating it, here's the button: