What should I do when I'm not over my ex 4 months later? He's my coworker and I see him every day. I still have that hope that we might get back together. He broke up with me saying he wants to be financially stable first and it's just a timing thing.
He gave you a stupid excuse to break up and you let him get away with it.
You invite him out to a coffee, at a dollar coffee place (you don’t want to show yourself a spendthrift), or even the coffee room in your office, and you have a conversation with him.
You ask him straight out if he were financially stable, would he marry you today?
If the answer is no, you get it complete, this exercise, and move on as friends.
If his answer is an emphatic yes, then tell him his excuse is unacceptable. Couples do better financially, but you are all with the being filthy rich thing, and then you make a plan to get married, align your financial goals, study wealth, and get “financially stable,” to which you will have put specific measures.
A great place to start on a strong marriage is Marriage Archives | The Art of Manliness. He’s also got some on how to talk money with your spouse.
You’ll also want to spend time with Jim Rohn’s Best Year Ever speech. You can find it on YouTube. It’s four hours long and worth every minute. Take good notes, and expect to come back to it often.
Rohn’s main point is if you want to be wealthy, study wealth. But the same goes for great relationships.
But also, be clear that you are up to this. Maybe review some of these resources first, and look if you are ready to bring the discipline and mindset they require to your life.
And then ask yourself honestly, is he? Is he wishing for things to get better, as they often do, but sometimes don’t, or does he have a plan? He already occurs to me as a bit of a flake. If he isn’t willing to grow up and be the kind of person who creates “financial stability,” which he claims is important to him, will he grow up to be the kind of person who creates a great relationship over the long haul?
These are my notes from Jim Rohn's best year ever. I figured I'd share for two reasons: (1) it's good to review for myself, and (2) maybe it'll inspire you to move your life in the right direction at this difficult time.
So this list has been brewing in my head all week, and now it's time to share it with you. As always, my intention is that you live an amazing life.
I'm reminded of a story, I don't know if it's true: A middle aged lady walks up to Isaac Stern after a concert. She gushes “Oh, I'd give my life to play like you!”
“Lady,” said Stern acidly, “That I did!” The point is that to have what you want usually takes a bit of effort.
Mr. Joyner, developer of Simpleology, in his “The Greatness Awakening,” (I tried to get you a link to this, but couldn't find it) at day ten assigns my mission as:
I liked this assignment; so I share this also with you.
I got a bit stupid yesterday, and then got smart. I did contact someone, and that turned into a conversation, which I definitely call a win. I also made for some outside time by way of a walk with my son. I did workout, but then did got sidetracked, in one good way, and in one bad, and got to the end of my day not having completed my core activity, which is making contact with three people. So I wasn't going to go to bed without that, and got it done, which also felt good. As to the assignment, I realize it actually is present for me in the mornings, and I am not feeling the need to comment as completely as I have the last three days, but I'll work into a form that works:
Thanks again to Mark Joyner's The Little Calendar that Brainwashes You: It might be enough for you. For me, it resides in a bigger context. I suppose it depends where you find yourself.