Setting an Example

By David Herz

Posted on Jun 2, 2015 by in Advice


One of my on-line muses just shared a part of his new daughter experience and asked for some directionon his blog. Here's what I had to say:


Dear Danny:


We all have knowledge that we can't possibly share. And sometimes, when we can share it, we can share it with the world, and sometimes we can just share it with one, who might not even understand. And sometimes the only way we can learn is to make our own mistakes.


I don't think you are asking the right question though. It doesn't matter what we want. This is your life and it matters what you want.


You obviously have a passion to make a difference in the world. But now you have a daughter and you are passionate about her as well. The question is how to honor both.


I don't think the lessons I learned series honors the Danny I know, unless that's the theme that really has you jazzed at the moment. Where is the engagement and the iteration in that process?


While it's for you to figure out, and iterate, and see what resonates, I do have a suggestion. You have put in your ten(s of) thousand(s) hours. You have created a powerful structure (firepole) to make sure your message powerfully shows up in the world. If it suits you, step back and be the sage guide. Let your staff handle the day to day (maybe even turn over your e-mail account to one of them to handle), and let them answer the questions as they know Danny would. But when they come across a question or comment, and they think “I wonder what Danny would say,” or “I bet Danny would love to address this,” then let them forward those to you.


Pick one a week, or a theme a week, or even every other week, and share your thoughts, and if they all seem to have parallels in the raising pour daughter, that's fine too.


You have a lot of time to set a great example, but I'm not sure you even recognize the great example you are already setting. You are showing her that it's okay not to know, and that it's okay to look out into the world for help, and that the world will reward you for engaging with it. You are showing her that even successful people, or maybe especially successful people, are constantly forging a path, and though it may wind, and not be as direct as the one's that will follow, there will be a greater satisfaction in knowing that it is their own.


So keep asking, and keep playing, and keep exploring, and engage with your child as the intrepid explorer, bold adventurer, and simply outrageous human you'd like her to be, and she'll become that.


But most of all, just trust that the thing that you are doing is exactly the thing you are supposed to be doing.


And if you'd like my help along the way, just reach out and schedule a consultation. Use coupon code HappyBirthday for half off my regular rate.

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This entry was posted by David Herz and filed under Advice. Tags: Parenting, setting an example.

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