So I haven't been keeping my word as well as I'd like to. I haven't written here with the frequency I've promised. I haven't generated the business I want. I haven't taken all the actions that align with my stated commitments.
I have a client I am coaching. He knows this about me. I don't give him much slack when he doesn't keep his own promises. This really annoyed him recently, so we are taking a “break."
There is something in what he says. While I do keep my promises to my clients, I lose credibility when I do not walk the walk, when I give myself permission to not keep my word, mostly to myself, but sometimes to those closest to me as well.
I know there is power in keeping my word, especially in those circumstances where I really don't want to, or something “better” comes along. And still, I don't. But that doesn't negate the value. My client knows I don't have the life I want. He also knows that this is, in large part, because I have not kept my promises to myself.
He sees the cost to me, but instead of taking the coaching, he uses my inaction to excuse breaking his own promise. He's up to some really big things. I am a stand that he have those. I believe this is possible inside of keeping his word.
He's willing to not have what he wants because I don't have what I want. While this might seem insane, I think it's a common type of insanity. We use something external to justify how we are, things like “My parents always fought; this is why I am not a great spouse.” “My teachers weren't so interested in learning; so I haven't learned how to learn.” “I was violated, I can not be free.” “I have lost; I must not _______ ever again.” The truth is none of these is connected. We see something, and we may use this to justify a choice, but the connection is our own fiction, an identity we create for ourselves.
We imply promises. We imply some social compact. And when our expectations are not met, we throw in the towel. Something happened leads to I'm justified in not having what I want or doing what I am committed to.
It doesn't need to be like this. I see this much more clearly now. No, I will not be writing weekly again. It's not my current promise. However, you should know this.
You should also know that I am always here for you, and I always bring the best of myself to my interactions with you. And in making a difference with you, I'll be making one with myself as well.
And when you are ready to powerfully build your new future (right now is the only time you will ever have by the way), schedule with me and you'll get it.