A client suggested that his Christian training is to “give his life away.” This was inside of a conversation in which he was frustrated that his support for a certain family kept him from keeping other commitments in his life.
But here's the thing – and I am not Christian so I might be completely off here – G-d didn't say that you've got to give your life to any particular thing. In this case, my client is also a coach.
He gives his life to helping other people express their best and highest selves, to get them out of their own ways so that they can live the lives they say they want. And he gets paid for this.
He blew off his clients to sit in court with a family to whom he had promised support, and the matter went on much longer than my client anticipated.
But here are the other things. One, he never communicated to this family his other commitments. Two, he never checked in with them as to exactly what they needed from him. So he sat in court and martyred himself on the altar of “giving his life,” instead of creating a structure in which he could honor his commitments and provide support at the same time.
I expect they would have understood if he chose to step out for an hour to make a phone call. Who knows, they might have told him that it makes the most difference for them if he is there first thing, or at the end of the day, in which case he could have kept his other promises and still been for this family in a meaningful way.
Instead, my client feels that he is another week behind. To make it worse, he is blowing his own clients off again because he made another promise to help someone else. The end result just might be that he loses as clients some of those people he stands to make the biggest difference with.
This may be giving his life away, but it's the poor man's way. By not saying NO, he's not taking the opportunity to develop his gift so that when he gives his life away, it has the effect he'd really like it to.
And maybe you see some of this too. Where do you say yes only to find yourself overwhelmed and unable to do your life's work. If you want to take a look at that, consider having a conversation with me. Use Coupon Code Yes-To-Life to pay one hundred dollars instead of the usual five.
And if you're not ready for that, I encourage you to: