To Get There, It Sometimes Helps to Know Where You are Going
At the moment this is for me a very provocative statement. I'll get to that later though.
I started with a new client this week. His is an unschooling family and they have a vision of getting out on the road, and living and loving and learning there.
This vision has been around for a while. They know how much a motor home costs, but don't think they are currently in a position to buy one and start rolling. On top of that, they have a house. They have certain expenses they need to make every month just to stay afloat. One has a business she's built up in a particular location that will not travel with her. In other words they are stuck.
Or are they? as my eldest would say. I like to say that people's problems are rarely ones of money, but rather ones of creativity. But all of this starts with a dose of reality. It might help if a person knows both where he is and where he is going if wants to set a path.
As I was looking with my client, something became clear. He looked at a life on the road and suggested it would be his current expenses, plus. He'd like to sell his house, but it has issues which must be addressed (which he can't afford to) before he can sell it. Catch-22, stuck again.
Or is he? I don't think so. Stuck exists in our minds. It's a convenient excuse for not doing the work to have what we want. It takes control outside of ourselves to some other circumstance that we can blame instead.
The point is my client isn't clear on what it takes to be on the road. Moreover, he's not clear on what he will save by not living in his house, or what the alternatives to selling it cost or can generate. And he's not clear on what he, and his wife, can generate in their lives under way.
And I think it's human to do this. We are at base animals. Animals have a will to survive. The unfamiliar poses a threat. We can't well calculate the risk. But we do want to survive. So we imbue the familiar with special power (selection bias?) and enlarge the threat in the unfamiliar.
But then we are also human. We strive for something more than survival. We strive for meaning and relevance. And now we must engage the rational to overcome the animal resistance to change, that is if we want to generate a new world which actually fulfills us.
In my client's case, it means writing down where he is, and where he wants to be, and then starting to take concrete steps to get there. And not being afraid to look at all the alternatives. Maybe if he just defaulted on his mortgage, he could squirrel away the money he needs to buy his motor home while he is living for free.
But I suggested this is a provocative statement for me. I'm working with a Cellular Energy Release Therapist at the moment, and inside of looking at a persistent symptom I am experiencing (a numbness in my face), she suggested that I am not pursuing what really matters to me, though mastery shows up in most of the places I play. Amy suggests I should be playing more in a creative field.
It's not hard for me to see that there is a creative side that isn't fully expressed, but when I look for myself, wow do I see a butload of circumstances that suggest that that's no path for me. And now I am noticing that maybe I am the one who is suffering from a lack of creativity. Ironic, isn't it.
So my challenge this week is writing down the places I think I'd like to go, and see if there isn't one that grabs my attention a little more than the others.
And if you find you are in a similar place, trying to forge the path forward, but not sure where you are going, or where you are, I am here to help: