David & Sharleen: For the Life You Love

How Can I Show Him I Love After 35 Years of Marriage?

Just come up with a way to make him smile every day. Thank him when he is great with you. Be great with him. Get curious about him. Come from the notion that you don't really know this person, and it's your mission to find out. Ask him to share with you the stuff he never did, or that he thought might be too stupid. Ask him if there is anything he wants to get off his chest, and what you can do to make his life better.

In other words, just communicate. He's your husband. Take your partnership to the next level.

And it could be you make him a birthday party, or a party for no reason. Invite every one you know who knows him to share something and make him a little book. I did this for my wife. The online version is here, Sharleen's Special Page. The paper version is ten times better.

How do I Know He Still Loves Me After 35 Years?

How do you know he ever loved you? What does it matter anyway?

A better question might be “Are you willing to take responsibility for making life together with him great?”

If so, you can restart the romance, plan a little getaway, buy a little gift, engage in a hundred small acts of kindness, not get upset. He might just get that that is a great way to be and start to surprise you back.

Maybe try waking up every morning, and saying to yourself “there's something new to discover about this man,” and “there's a way I can make him smile that he's never smiled before.” If you start looking for those things, you might find you still have a lifetime of adventures to pursue with this person.

I'm 38 and single. If my job is making me feel like I'm wasting my life away, I only have $12,000 saved, what should I do?

For some people 12,000 sounds like a fortune. I say it's time for an adventure. Get rid of as much of your stuff as you can, get free of leases and other commitments, then buy a one way ticket anywhere, and then figure it out. Land somewhere you've never been, give yourself a ridiculously small budget, and figure it out. If you're inclined write about it. You might want to read My Life as an Experiment: One Man's Humble Quest to Improve Himself by Living as a Woman, Becoming George Washington, Telling No Lies, and Other Radical Tests. You might also want to start writing down ten ideas a day, a la James Altucher Confidential - Ideas for a World Out of Balance.

Or you might try something radical like bringing excellence and passion to your job. If you don't like it anyway, why not come up with ten ideas a day about how it could be made better, and then go to your boss and present the top ones at the end of the week. If your job really is a waste, come up with ten things you could do that would actually be worth your time and the company's money.

The thing is you could go out on an adventure or take exactly what you have and make an adventure out of that.

Oh and do the The Landmark Forum, an amazing investment in creating the life that suits you.

The guide is on-line. The course will follow soon.

Is he just not that into me if he isn't pursuing me strongly after 5 dates or is it normal to wait hours/days for him text and ask me out each time?

Maybe I'm old school, but I don't get why a person who is into you would make texting his choice method of communication. I like to actually talk to my partner.

Maybe you should pick up the phone, arrange a date, and actually talk to him and ask him why it takes “so long” for him to text you/ask you out.

Maybe he's just dealing with his everyday life. On the other hand, he might have three other girlfriends. Maybe for him, this is the strongest he's ever pursued someone and he's scared he might smother you. Maybe he's working by some other set of rules.

If you want a relationship, you'll have to learn to communicate. Maybe this is a good place to start practicing that.

Is it a bad sign if a guy doesn't text in the day, takes 1-2 hrs to text back and when he does text, it's after 9 pm to ask me out for a future date?

I think it's a good sign. It might mean he actually has a job that is important to him, or studies, or some other semblance of a life, and that he only bothers with text messages at set times of his day, actually leaving him to be present to the people in front of him when he is with them, including you, when he goes on a date with you instead of trying to have a relationship by text.

Another question from Quora

I've managed to hide it from my family for at least 5 years and now he caught me singing when he made a surprise visit to the house. I'm so embarrased I can't even look at him anymore, I didn't tell my parents I sung cause they would keep making fun of me for doing it and now I'm screwed.

You let him say whatever the heck he wants, you get out there, and get a voice coach, go to every karaoke bar you can, and sing your heart out. You'll get there's nothing wrong with letting out the song that's inside you, and if your parents think that's weird, that's their own damned problem.